THE DAY I MOVED TO HOSTEL

Dear Palak,

It’s my first day in the college hostel today. It’s not ‘hostel’ hostel. We have cute, little 5-room cottages with our own bathroom and stuff. I am assuming there will be privacy.

Anyway, it feels weird to be away from home, from Dharmanagar. Never liked Dharmanagar, thanks to the elitist mentality of our classmates who bullied me all my life for hailing from a village. And home was toxic, thanks to my parents. I am relieved in a way that I am in Bangalore, far from that damned place. But this new place, new food habits, new people with their own customs and culture are all so weird. I hope I get used to it.

My roommate (I have taken a double room), Rajesh, a South Indian guy, seems like the most boring person in the world. The other people in my cottage are from North India and are super-loud if you know what I mean. I hope I can adjust with them.

Despite all these cacophony, I feel a certain kind of silence. I think there is nothing louder than the silence of the only person you love. I wish we were on talking terms. I wish I could call you right now and talk to you about all these new things I am experiencing, good and bad. By the way, even Pallo isn’t talking to me these days. Her parents got to know that she is in a relationship with someone. So, they are keeping an eye on her every move. Under the circumstances, texting me would be risky. She is already going through a lot.

My class starts tomorrow. I hope it goes well and I get to make new friends. I hope I stop feeling lonely.

Hey, what if we were in the same college? That would be something… The BEST! But I guess that’s too much to expect even in my dreams. 🙂 And if you were here and still not in talking terms, it would be more difficult to bear.

You know even when I proposed to you, I never expected you to accept me. To be honest, a relationship was the last thing on my mind. I am too damaged for that. But I hoped you would remain my friend, I still do. Just be my friend, my peace.

I wish I knew your address. I would have posted this letter to you. I hope some day, I get to send it to you.

With love, hugs and other things,
P