THE DAY I GOT KISSED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE

Dear Palak,

Something happened today.

Dipan and I went to Sapthagiri College of Engineering to perform at their college fest. It was great. We sang our own compositions, which the crowd liked. We even gave a few autographs too, where I wrote:

‘Saving all my love for someone else,
Pritam (Signature).’

I almost felt like a celebrity.

Anyway, after the performance, students from that college asked us to join them for a drink. We went to a bar nearby.

The bar was crowded, mostly by people from the college. Many people came and talked to us. Honestly, I enjoyed that a few girls were even flirting with me.

I was extremely high when I was talking to this pretty girl named Ankita. She asked if I was single. I replied, “I am single but committed.” I was referring to you and Pallabi, of course.

I don’t recall much of our conversation after that. She had a few too many drinks, just like me. Out of nowhere, she kissed me, just a quick one on the lips. It caught me totally off guard. Before I could even react or say anything, she went for it again – this time, it was a much deeper kiss.

It took me a bit to gather my thoughts, but I managed to not get swept up in the moment. I pulled back. And then, I suddenly felt scared. I can’t really explain why.

I came out of the bar. A certain kind of guilt engulfed me. I realised later that I wasn’t thinking about Pallabi. I was thinking about you and feeling guilty. I felt like I had betrayed you, cheated on you. Not to mention I felt so violated, even though for a brief moment I enjoyed it.

My first kiss wasn’t supposed to be like this. You are the only person I ever dreamt of kissing. 
I know I am not answerable to you, but I feel like apologising to you. I am sorry that it happened.

With love, hugs and other things,
P